Archive for January, 2011

January 24, 2011

it’s been a crappy week.  month.. maybe even year.. even tho it just started..   for 6 months or so i’ve been having heart palpitations.. they suck.. and are scary..  I spent my birthday in the emergency room because of them 😦  my friend meg stayed with me.. and invited me back to her house.. i’m so thankful for her and her family to welcoming me in and taking care of me.. that really turned a horrible birthday into a not so bad birthday…  m y primary dr said the palps were a side effect of a drug i was on.  i went to cardiologist, he said maybe it was, took me off the drug, put me on another, and scheduled me for a nuclear stress test.  that was jan 3.  no one’s called with any results yet, so i guess that’s a good thing and nothing is wrong.  I have an appointment with him tomorrow to find out for sure.    I am also going to have bariatric surgery, so i had to get the stress test done anyway.

 

 

I”m doing it again. I’m letting myself like someone who is.. out of my league.. out of bounds..  I keep doing this to myself.  I don’t know why… it only ends in heartbreak.. my heart..  it’s like a freaking curse.. and i keep telling myself to not feel like that about him.. not to let myself think about him.. not to see more than there is… not to want more than there is… i’ll push it to the point where he’ll have to be blatantly honest with me and tell me there’s nothing there, and that he’s not interested in me that way. it’s inevitable.   a speeding train that i can’t stop 😦

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