35 & single

so i’m 35 and single.  I hope you gathered that much info already.  if not, you shoudl probably leave.  I live in maryland, just north of baltimore.  I come from a relatively normal family. I have 2 great parents who are still happily married, and an older brother.

I was a tomboy growing up, always the 3rd wheel in friendships when I was a kid and have been overweight since the 3rd grade.  I spent my high school and college years in love with my best friend who turns out was gay and knew it all along, Didn’t lose my virginity until I was 25, which was a mistake and I can’t even remember the guys name.. Mark something…   I have never been asked out on a date and have had exactly two “boyfriends.”  “boyfriend” remains in quotations because the frist one lived 2000 miles away in england and i only got to see him twice a year for 2 weeks at a time.  Not really m uch of a relationship there.  And the other would never actually admit we were in a relationship.. apparently I fuck all my friends.. who knew?!

so now i find myself 35 & single. Renting a house that’s drafty and practically falling down from a slumlord who won’t do anything about the fact that i have squirrels living in my attic, walls and in between the floors of my  house, not to mention the giant hole in the roof. I have a job i love but it barely pays the bills.  I’m in debt up to my eyeballs with student loans that I can’t even begin to pay. Oh. and I have ginormous feet.

ain’t life great?

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